My Story
Well I have shared a lot with y'all and now I want to share my story with y'all. I hope it helps someone somewhere.
When I was teenager I was verbally abused by a couple of people who were in my life, and who will stay nameless because this post is not about calling them out and pointing fingers. It's about showing how awesome God is and how He can take someone broken and put them back together again.
So, because of the verbal abuse, I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. I would also develop an eating disorder. I was 16, when I hit my breaking point. On a Wednesday night after church, I cut myself. After cleaning up my cut, my mom sat me down and asked if it was an accident. I told her it wasn't. She asked me why... I told her I need to make sure I could still feel. And that I couldn't keep how I felt inside anymore.
So, after crying all that night, I came to the decision that I didn't want to live my life with scars on my arm. A few months later, I went to youth camp. While sitting in church our first night at camp, I couldn't help but think that the speaker was talking to me. So, when he gave the altar call I went down.
I told God, "If you're there, then come mess me up. Come do something in my life, because I can't live like this anymore. I just can't."
Guess what... He showed up and rocked my world. Before the week came to an end, I asked God what He wanted me to do. Where did He want me to go? I was ready. But what He said was, "Forgive those who have hurt you."
Honestly, I wasn't too excited about it. But faithfully every night for about a year, the Holy Spirit would be like, "Did you forget something?" So for a year, I prayed and forgave those who hurt me.
At 17, while sitting in my room, I started thinking "What am I gonna do with my life?" So I started thinking about all the different areas in ministry. When I got to youth ministry, peace swept over me. From that moment on, I started pursuing youth ministry. I had a few things to work on, like public speaking. I didn't do a lot of talking, but I knew that if this is what God has called me to do, He will help me through it.
In March of 2010, I blacked out and hit my head and got my first concussion. I struggled with some short and long term memory loss. Now, in the beginning, I wasn't too sure how things would turn out. But God had a plan to make something not so good into something good. After hitting my head, it was like something changed in me. It was like I found my voice. And I found my strength to speak in public in God. He helped my find my words.
So here I am. A youth leader who gets to work with an awesome youth group and amazing Youth Pastor. She is also my best friend.
God has brought me so far. I was once a hurting person who (yep!) hurt others. I have forgiven and I have been forgiven. My story is a story of Love, Grace, and healing.
I refuse to go back to my old way of living. God has so much more for me. Trust me, I understand it's hard to forgive, but if you don't, you will end up hurting the ones around you. I did. I was mean to my brothers because I was hurting. That's just not okay. Luckily, I am blessed with WONDERFUL brothers in my life. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
I hope this helps someone today. God is ready to heal your hurts.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Make sure you like my Facebook page and share this with someone today. Someone somewhere needs to know they aren't alone.
Love,
-Girl In Ministry
www.facebook.com/agirlinministry
When I was teenager I was verbally abused by a couple of people who were in my life, and who will stay nameless because this post is not about calling them out and pointing fingers. It's about showing how awesome God is and how He can take someone broken and put them back together again. So, because of the verbal abuse, I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. I would also develop an eating disorder. I was 16, when I hit my breaking point. On a Wednesday night after church, I cut myself. After cleaning up my cut, my mom sat me down and asked if it was an accident. I told her it wasn't. She asked me why... I told her I need to make sure I could still feel. And that I couldn't keep how I felt inside anymore.
So, after crying all that night, I came to the decision that I didn't want to live my life with scars on my arm. A few months later, I went to youth camp. While sitting in church our first night at camp, I couldn't help but think that the speaker was talking to me. So, when he gave the altar call I went down.
I told God, "If you're there, then come mess me up. Come do something in my life, because I can't live like this anymore. I just can't."
Guess what... He showed up and rocked my world. Before the week came to an end, I asked God what He wanted me to do. Where did He want me to go? I was ready. But what He said was, "Forgive those who have hurt you."
Honestly, I wasn't too excited about it. But faithfully every night for about a year, the Holy Spirit would be like, "Did you forget something?" So for a year, I prayed and forgave those who hurt me.
At 17, while sitting in my room, I started thinking "What am I gonna do with my life?" So I started thinking about all the different areas in ministry. When I got to youth ministry, peace swept over me. From that moment on, I started pursuing youth ministry. I had a few things to work on, like public speaking. I didn't do a lot of talking, but I knew that if this is what God has called me to do, He will help me through it.
In March of 2010, I blacked out and hit my head and got my first concussion. I struggled with some short and long term memory loss. Now, in the beginning, I wasn't too sure how things would turn out. But God had a plan to make something not so good into something good. After hitting my head, it was like something changed in me. It was like I found my voice. And I found my strength to speak in public in God. He helped my find my words.
So here I am. A youth leader who gets to work with an awesome youth group and amazing Youth Pastor. She is also my best friend.
God has brought me so far. I was once a hurting person who (yep!) hurt others. I have forgiven and I have been forgiven. My story is a story of Love, Grace, and healing.
I refuse to go back to my old way of living. God has so much more for me. Trust me, I understand it's hard to forgive, but if you don't, you will end up hurting the ones around you. I did. I was mean to my brothers because I was hurting. That's just not okay. Luckily, I am blessed with WONDERFUL brothers in my life. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
I hope this helps someone today. God is ready to heal your hurts.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Make sure you like my Facebook page and share this with someone today. Someone somewhere needs to know they aren't alone.
Love,
-Girl In Ministry
www.facebook.com/agirlinministry
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